Questioning your sexual orientation

Sexuality is a spectrum, it's personal and it can change

What is sexual orientation/ sexuality? 

Our sexual orientation or sexuality is who we are attracted or not attracted to. 


This can take many shapes and forms. Your sexuality could be about sexual feeling, physical attraction, romantic feeling, or the ways you feel connected to other people. 

Questioning your sexuality

It can be confusing questioning your sexuality and not having  all the answers. It’s okay not to know, and to take your time. 


Questioning your sexuality may mean that you feel:


  • Unsure about who you’re attracted to
  • That you can’t relate to the examples of romance around you
  • Like you don’t know what label feels right
  • Surprised about a new attraction to someone

Helpful tips

It’s okay to take time to think about how you are feeling. Below are some reflective questions that might help you to do that. 


  • What does attraction mean to me? 
  • How do I define my sexuality? 
  • What words feel right? 
  • Who am I attracted to? 
  • Did a specific event lead to me questioning?
  • What do I want to know most about my sexuality? 
  • What do I find confusing about my sexuality? 
  • In a world free of discrimination, what would I say out loud about who I’m attracted to? 


It might help to write your answers down in a safe place. Our youth work team can support you to explore your feelings.

Saying things out loud allows us to put confusing thoughts into words. If you feel safe talking to someone in your life that you trust, it can help.


We are here for you too. LiveChat  is our confidential text-based service for you to talk with a youth worker about your gender and sexuality. 

Talking to people who have had similar experiences can make you feel less alone and help to make sense of your feelings.


Find your local youth group,  to get connected with other LGBTQ+ young people.

Sometimes it can really help to engage with other people’s stories. Films, TV shows or books about LGBTQ+ people can be a great way to connect with what your sexuality might look like. 


It might be that you don’t see yourself represented. This can be hard, it can also help us think about how we want to represent ourselves. What will your story be? 

It can be useful to look through terms and labels to see what fits. Our LGBTQ+ A-Z is a good place to start.


It may be that none of them fit and that’s okay too! Your sexuality is yours to define and describe in the way that feels right for you. 


You are enough! You don’t have to fit a neat label – you can just be you.

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